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Nothing Will Ruin Your 20’s More Than Thinking You Should Have It All Figured Out

Having it “all figured out” is a phrase I reserve for a cross word puzzle or for that horrifying math problem you’ll spend hours trying to “figure out,” and eventually will.

Your 20’s, 30’s and beyond will never be something for you to figure out. You might figure out what you want it to look like, figure out where you want to live, or figure out if you want to have kids by a certain age. But you will not figure it out as in solve your life, because it’s a never ending battle, until the end, end. Don’t mean to get you down, but it’s the truth and today’s blog is full of bombs!

What does it mean when someone has it all figured out?

Or appears to? If they appear to, remember this, they may have worked really hard to get where they are. Or that’s the impression you get given they may be at a place that looks desirable. A desirable car, job, partner or whatever. Just because it looks like they have it all, doesn’t mean they do. And something even more important, their external appearance or things they own aren’t a representation of what the person may be living internally.

The next time you see someone who seems to have it all figured out, admire it, congratulate them, and then concentrate on your own path and how you’ll get there. You don’t have to have it all figured out to take the next step. It’s scary to go do things you don’t know how to do, but that’s how you learn. Read that again, write it down, repeat it, take a picture! You’ll never get any closer to figuring it out, if you don’t even try. So what if it doesn’t turn out as you planned it or envisioned it!

Here’s another truth bomb, things rarely turn out as planned. Again, your life isn’t a math problem to figure out with only one absolute answer. Your life is a journey, with ups and downs, obstacles you’ll have to overcome, insecurities to work out and a hell of a lot of heartache.

What does this all mean?

It means, stop trying to figure out your whole life and figure out your next step. That you can figure out. It all starts with a little faith and hope that things are going to work out for you. There was a point in my life where I felt hopeless, where I stopped believing in God and became a victim of my circumstances. I was broke, still living with family, working a job I hated, and in the middle of that I had a pretty bad car accident where I totaled my car, their car, and totaled pretty much any sign of faith I may have been holding on to.  All I did was cry and complain and felt sorry for myself and wondered why life was so unfair. Sound familiar?

I didn’t know how to change my mindset around what was happening, or to manage my emotions so I wouldn’t lash out at people, or write off anyone who would say to “look on the bright side.”  What fucking bright side? When you’re going through it, it only feels like there’s a dark side.

But it doesn’t have to be that way because if you accept and understand at this young age that life will throw you curve balls, and unexpected things will happen no matter how well you plan, you will be ahead of the game and will probably be ahead of most of the 20-somethings who don’t understand this. Don’t worry, I got my faith back and here I am, but that’s a story for another day.

The moral of this story is to not believe that you have to have it all figured out. No one does.

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