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Singleness is not Loneliness- Valentine’s Edition

Valentine’s Day is coming…like it does every year. Doesn’t look like the pandemic managed to shut that down! I am not anti-Valentine’s Day by any means, but as a person who embraces a solo lifestyle, I don’t think it’s such a big deal. Yes, I’m single on Valentine’s, it’s okay if you are too!  

I know it can feel like a drag, especially when you’ve been single for a really long time, or newly single. A lot of people consider it a romantic day, but Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be just for couples. Embrace the “love” which surrounds this day. This means you can show love, be loving, and most importantly, love yourself.

Be your own Valentine. Imagine you are in a committed relationship with yourself. What would you get someone you are deeply committed to? Someone who deserves your love and appreciation. Think about it. When was the last time you thought, “I am special and deserve X?” Well, this is your time! Use this Valentine’s to show yourself you are worthy of this love and gift yourself something to make you happy. The first step to happiness is falling in love with yourself.

Write yourself a love letter. I’m a huge fan of writing down everything you appreciate and love about yourself. If you were writing a letter to someone you love unconditionally, what would you write? Commit to giving yourself space and time to do this. Once you begin to write, you will access your creativity, and all the things you love about yourself will begin to flow. There are so many things to love about yourself! Start with, “I love you because…”

Indulge in some self-care. Lucky for you, this Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday, and hopefully you can take advantage of any free time you may have. Maybe you need to catch up on your favorite show, or finish reading a book you started. It’s also a good day to reach out to other single friends. Although a guy or girl’s night out may be out of the question at the moment, I’m sure single friends would love to hear from you to reinforce your awesome singlehood on Valentine’s Day. How about a nice home cooked dinner you get to pick? Or maybe you just need to disconnect and take some time to do nothing. Whatever it is, don’t stress out because you are single. Appreciate the singleness and know this allows you to do things you wouldn’t be able to do if you were in a relationship. This is true on Valentine’s Day and Every.Single.Day….pun intended!

So, single friends, you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want to on Valentine’s Day. Let’s begin to transform this so-called holiday to a day where we embrace our independence, and focus on the act of loving ourselves.

Don’t allow those who are commercializing it to make you feel like you need someone. Being by yourself and doing things by yourself without feeling lonely takes some work. But once you’ve mastered it, it’s liberating, and it will give you a great sense of accomplishment.  Use this time to learn about yourself, to grow and embrace your singleness.

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